One of the most important factors in a child’s success is a positive adult role model. The mission of Big Brothers Big Sisters of the North Bay is to help children facing adversity in Marin, Sonoma, Napa, and Solano Counties change their lives for the better through the power of one-to-one mentoring. For more than 40 years, Big Brothers Big Sisters of the North Bay has provided carefully screened, trained volunteer mentors to our community’s most at-risk youth, breaking cycles of poverty, drugs and violence. This long-term commitment is unique to the program and is what makes the program so powerful.

Here’s why I became a “Big Sister”:

1. What inspired you to become a Big Sister?

A friend worked at Big Brothers Big Sisters who I was trying to convince to join Rotary. She said she would join Rotary if I became a Big. Stephanie and I have been matched since 2007.

2. How was the experience of actually being a Big Sister different from your 'idea' of being a Big Sister?

My goal was to help my five year old Little learn to love the outdoors and graduate from college. We celebrated her elementary school graduation, my husband and I attended, our friends sent gifts, and we made a big deal of her elementary school graduation. I hope to be able to celebrate her graduation from high school or a high school equivalent one day. She is in middle school now and it’s tough with a pre-teen. But there are also easy times—the small things not the big things. Trips to the beach ended in her not wanting to get wet. But when she comes to my house, my husband preparing her a steak became our “thing.” She prepares the vegetable. She loves to set the table and all sit down together.

A few years after we had been matched, I had my first child. My Little was the guest of honor at my baby shower. She opened all of the presents and organized the baby closet and books. When my son was born she read his baby books to him, at a time when she was learning to read. When my daughter was born a few years later, my Little insisted on bringing the cake to her birthday every year.

3. What was the most important thing you learned from your Little Sister?

The list is endless. I learned to play. I learned to have fun at the grocery store. I have learned so much about the County of Marin, and the Canal area of San Rafael. I learned about chronic homelessness. I learned that there are many influencing factors, no matter how hard I tried to be “the” influence in her life. As a result I have become more engaged in organizations and politics trying to implement change.

4. How did mentoring a young person change her life?

She and her Mom told me that my husband was the first white man they ever trusted.

5. What advice would you give to a friend/colleague who was interested in or considering becoming a "Big"?

Big Brothers Big Sisters recommends that you meet with your Little twice a month for a couple of hours. In the beginning I had aspirations of the beach, museums, amusements parks, and fairs. Turned out that a trip to Trader Joe’s was where we had the best experience. Ice cream, the park, and joining me on my errands was a real treat for her. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming. Hanging out at my house for a few hours was safe, and comfortable, and quiet. I don’t think she gets any quiet moments at home. Given the race relations in our country right now, direct connection to a person unlike myself is the best way to break down fears for my Little and myself.

If you are interested in learning more about becoming a mentor, please email Daniel at dcavaliaye@bbbsnorthbay.org. If you are interested in learning more about current Board of Directors openings, please email Karen at kbluestone@bbbsnorthbay.org.